On this day 2 years ago, I found out that there was a little life growing inside me. Today she's a happy healthy 16 month old with a smile that can light up a room.
I wasn't always sure that I wanted children. To be honest I didn't think I had the capacity to be a mother. But it got to the point where I wondered if everything was working as it should be. And then without warning it was. I'd been so sure times before only to find that I was wrong. Most times I sighed in relief and moved on knowing I wasn't ready but there was that one time when my heart broke and tears cascaded like a waterfall down my cheeks. There's always that one time.
I think in our own way without talking about it, we prepared for a life being childless.
Then one day, when 3 months had gone by with no signs of anything I decided to call my Doctor. I told the nurse who booked me an appointment and told me to do a test. I'd done one the week before so wasn't holding out much hope.
But then morning came and with it a house alarm that went off at 3am. So there I was awake. I had one last test left and decided might as well because I needed to go anyway. But if I was going to be disappointed again, I wasn't going to be disappointed on my own. I woke Tim up just in case I went mental. So there we were at 3am watching a stick. The first line appeared and then THE SECOND ... sort of.
So what did we do? Smiled at each other and called it a dumb test and went back to sleep.
Because that is what you do at 3am.
But because of the second sort of line that I opted to go for a blood test and just after 2pm, I got the phone call confirming what I had refused to believe.
The 2 years since that call have been amazing.
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